The Inner Me: Why Invisible Anxiety Is So Hard for Others to Understand
Well, I am going to say it - I would like to talk today about mental health, in particular anxiety and why society can find it so hard to accept that this is in fact a true and genuine condition.
I think that part of the problem is that anxiety is primarily an internal state. Yes there can be some physical symptoms like fidgeting for example, but the core experiences of dread and catastrophic thoughts are invisible to others. I suppose It's a bit like trying to describe a dream that keeps changing – you can convey the basics, but not the feeling of being in it.
This is because anxiety can raise the difficulty of self-expression. It creates a vicious cycle: the anxiety itself makes it harder to articulate thoughts, and the struggle to express yourself can, in turn, heighten anxiety. It's basically a tangled mess of thoughts and feelings inside, but the very act of trying to untangle them feels overwhelming or impossible.
So what are these internal feelings that we are trying to describe? Well for me they are worry, nervousness, fear, unease, restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, apprehension, a fear of happiness and a sense that something catastrophic is about to unfold. Do they sound familiar?
Now to someone who doesn't suffer any form of anxiety these words are just that, they don't necessarily have any context behind them and so they could well be thinking “it's just your imagination” and “why don't you just cheer up” 🫤
A good tip I was given was to imagine you are chatting with a child who is only just beginning to understand life, so Instead of the words above you might say "It's like being stuck on a hamster wheel that is impossible to get off" or "It's like having an alarm bell that won't turn off only mine is in my brain”.
Try to focus on the sensation it makes you feel, so you could say something like "I'm so exhausted from fighting my thoughts all day." It might take a few attempts to get it out there and the way you approach it might be different to mine. But as I have said before “there isn't a one solution that fits all” answer. However you try to approach it, I wish you every bit of good luck possible
So my little ray of sunshine today comes from my childhood. It was Christmas and my main present was a beautiful doll which was approximately 2ft tall and it came wrapped in a lovely big cardboard box. I was so excited, but not for the doll, oh no.
It was having such a pretty box with a lid that I could fit into. Now I played with that box all day much to my parents' consternation. They couldn't understand why I was so fascinated by a box when I had a lovely doll to play with.
Now I didn't know how to explain my feelings, but I do remember they were very real and important to me at the time. I did go on to play with my doll for many years and it is only recently that I finally let it go (the box sadly didn't make it past Christmas 😆) but the memory of that box is still there even if I still cannot quite explain my fascination with it. Thanks for reading.
The Marathon Nobody Sees: Living a Double Life With Anxiety
Don’t Hold Back What’s Inside: Why Sharing Hard Feelings Still Matters
Take care and a virtual hug to you all.
