One Step at a Time
This is a phrase that I am sure you have heard often, especially when connected to both your mental and/or physical health. But let's face it, without any context these are just words. How do we interpret them into practical actions that will help get us to where we want to be?
I have intentionally used the word “want” because taking that first step when you think it is something you “should do” or “have been told to do” will be so much more difficult. It makes it more overwhelming without a clear path forward. It often feels like a giant, undefined task. But the desire to feel better, physically and emotionally can be a profound internal motivator. When that desire is genuine, it can fuel your motivation and help you overcome challenges.
No amount of external pressure from doctors or even family can compare to your inner drive. This is the difference between doing something because you have to and doing it because you want to. It can transform your goals from a chore into a journey of self-care.
I think this is even more profound when it comes to our mental health as it isn't something you can easily see or touch. It can be harder to pinpoint exactly what you are trying to achieve. But as our physical well-being can affect our mental health then we must consider both when trying to set ourselves achievable goals.
My insights are from my own experiences and everyone looks at things differently but I wanted to share how I set about meeting my goals one step at a time.
So, looking at our physical self first, one sentiment that comes across consistently is improving our fitness levels and/or losing weight. Now,I have struggled with my weight for many many years and was classed as significantly obese. This contributed to the fact that I did not have any sort of exercise routine. So when I started on my heart health journey and my specialist told me I needed to lose weight (and I am not talking about just a few pounds) and exercise more (a word I was allergic to ðŸ¤) I was beyond paralysed at the thought. It wasn't just a hill I was looking to climb, it was Mount Everest!
But once I got over the shock I decided to try and break it down a bit. The first thing I did was to work on changing my relationship with food. I wasn't focusing on an end goal which was too overwhelming but instead I decided to look at changes I could make that I would be able to live with long term. Rushing to the finish line, only to relapse wasn't the way forward. Been there and done that! So I started small, I didn't focus on the amount of weight I had to lose but rather was what I was eating balanced? I questioned the snacks I ate, swapped full fat crisps for low fat alternatives. I swapped puddings for 0% fat yoghurts and lots of fruit and I didn't look further than one week at a time. As I got through each week, I did a little happy dance☺️. Oh, there were days that were hard and yes, there were some relapses but I saw them as just that. I didn't give up, just accepted it was a bump in the road and started back on my journey the next day.
Incredibly within a few weeks I felt I could manage to try a little walking. The first few weeks I started this were very hard. I couldn't even get half a mile without stopping and sitting and I was so out of breath. But I listened to my body and within a few months I could do a mile with a few stops, then a mile without any stops. Then I was walking every single day and though it has taken me a few years I have lost nearly 5 stone and walk 3 miles every day.
The funny thing is that this regime did start to help foster a more positive mindset in my mental health. It didn't make my anxiety go away but the best way I can describe it was like the saying of “not being able to see the wood for trees”. Because I was no longer so focused on racing to the top of Mount Everest I started to see the achievable steps I was taking and I could appreciate the journey itself more. This in turn helped lessen the grip of my anxiety by shifting my focus to my accomplishments.
I found I could express some of my more unpleasant emotions more clearly in my journal without judgment making them feel less overwhelming. But more importantly I could also celebrate my little wins so if at other times when I was having a bad day I could read this and it would help me get back on track.
The most important thing to remember is that whatever journey you are on isn't about perfection. It's about small, consistent actions that add up over time. The goal is progress, not perfection.
I can't help but feel this would make a brilliant premise for a TV gameshow. It could be called “Milestone moments” and it would be a bit like the krypton factor which aimed to find the "ultimate human" by testing contestants' physical and mental abilities through a series of pre-determined and incredibly challenging rounds. Only in this show one contestant would pick from a list of light hearted tasks and each week the show would be a highlight of how they got on in a non-judgmental, celebratory way . It would be a great way to showcase the small, everyday victories we can all experience. Imagine a contestant trying to learn how to bake a cake, master a magic trick, or finally be able to parallel park without breaking into a sweat 😆. The show could follow their journey, from their comical setbacks, the moments of frustration, and the pure joy of finally succeeding. The game would only conclude when their task list is complete.
Hmm, I think my first task would definitely be parallel parking. I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it 🫣😆
Thank you for reading and a virtual hug to you all.
