The gameshow called Anxiety

Any anxiety sufferer will tell you that some days are better than others. When I am having a particularly bad day and just can't articulate my feelings or describe what is going on inside me I feel like I am on one of those TV game shows from the 1980’s like “name that tune” where you had to guess the song from just a few notes or 3-2-1 where you had to try and work out the answer from the most bizarre clues. Only the contestants are not tested on their musical prowess or trivia knowledge, but on their ability to manage and overcome extreme stress. 

It's like your brain is just throwing out clues about your stress, but you just can't connect them to the answer. You're left feeling frustrated and helpless, trying to figure out the rules of a game you never wanted to play in the first place.

 Have you ever had a day that felt like this? 

So what would it look like? 

Well from my point of view I think there would be a tiny host inside my brain and their role is almost to taunt me - “the contestant”, to try and solve my internal struggles when facing a difficult decision or personal struggle. And of course there is the added pressure that this is done in front of “an audience” or in other words the outside world. 

We're often our own toughest critics. Our host or inner voice can be a cheerleader on a good day, but most of the time it's the one setting the biggest challenges. The thing is, the real puzzle, it turns out, is ourselves.

The thought of having an audience aka the outside world adds a layer of social pressure and increases the feeling that our actions and thoughts are being observed or judged. This usually only adds to the pressure on us to find a solution to our struggles.

And the set would likely have a constant, low-level hum and the overall environment would feel unsettling and artificial, removing any sense of comfort. 

The challenge is that your brain will be giving you conflicting instructions. This puts you in a stressful "no-win" scenario, where you feel you can't possibly please all the conflicting emotions. 

Finding the answer isn't simple. For me, I love to walk. I've found that when I give myself space and just get lost in it, things can sometimes become clearer, not go away but maybe they don't feel quite so intense. I wonder if there's an activity you can lose yourself in that has a similar effect?”

The goal isn't to get rid of the conflicting feelings entirely, but to find a way to manage them so you can hopefully feel less paralyzed by the internal struggle.

Thinking about this brings to mind the occasion of my first ever date with my hubby. No, we weren't taking part in a game show but we did manage to disrupt a tournament in a country pub, much to the chagrin of many disgruntled locals😬. 

To give it context, we had decided it would be nice to go to a quiet pub where we could get to know each other better so we drove out to the countryside and came across a very quaint little public house that looked ideal. Our first clue that something was amiss was when we walked in and the whole pub went silent! Still, we decided to stay, so we bought our drinks, found a nice table in the corner and sat down to enjoy our evening. After sitting for a little while getting to know each other we began to notice that we were getting lots of looks and they weren't what you would call friendly. After about an hour or so we couldn't take it any longer and decided it was time to maybe move on to somewhere else. Before we left, I nipped to the little girls room and as I was coming out I overheard some of the regulars at the bar complaining how not only had we stumbled into the middle of them setting up for their weekly domino competition but we had sat at the “favourites to win” table. Eek! We got out pretty quick after that. But I suppose as first dates go it will always be memorable 😂. 

We went to the cinema for our second date - much safer😆

Thank you for reading and a virtual hug to you all.