Walking together: me and my anxiety, side by side
We’re taught to recoil from anxiety, to treat it like an unwanted guest. But what if we gave it a second glance? Underneath the discomfort actually lies a wisdom that we all need. With a little reframing, anxiety might just trade its bad reputation for a role as your emotionally attuned co-pilot.
To put what I am saying in context, a certain level of anxiety is not only natural, it’s necessary. On a basic level it alerts you to danger and helps you make safer decisions, this could be something as simple as crossing a street when there is a lot of traffic or navigating a tricky conversation.
It can sharpen your senses and help you recognise potential risks that may be overlooked otherwise.
Feeling anxious in response to someone being hurt or a situation feeling dishonest? That’s your empathy and integrity speaking.
So maybe anxiety doesn't have to be the bogey man constantly lurking in the wings. Maybe we could see it as the one working behind the scenes, trying, in its own way, to keep us safe.
So how could we even start to change our view and relationship with anxiety? Well for me, I am going to try to imagine it as a mini me in my brain and she would take on a persona of her own. Instead of trying to banish her I am going to have a go at befriending her and turn her into my stylish sidekick instead. I am thinking she would be called Twitchabella! Now I am sure she will be a bit of a diva about this at first especially as she sees herself as the star at the moment. So my first job is to turn her into a mood buddy instead.
So let me introduce you to the “Emotions in Couture" Collection as worn by Twitchabella:-
Look 1. Anxiety - in this she is wearing an outfit of sequins and suspicion. She’s overdressed, overprepared, and always early
Look 2. Joy - a carefree muse in chiffon, trailing laughter like perfume. She doesn’t walk, she glides
Look 3. Sadness - this one is the poet in velvet, rain-soaked and regal. She speaks in sighs and wears midnight blue lace
Look 4. Resilience - here comes the warrior in all her glorious armor. Her heels click like declarations.
Look 5. Hope - the dreamer in the softest silk. She carries a lantern and hums the softest lullabies
Look 6. Fear - dressed in black tulle. She watches for cues and checks the exits twice
And the star of the show
Look 7. Love - the creative designer in red velvet. She sketches heartfelt rhythms and drapes in devotion
There may be a few hurried costume changes, and sometimes she might step out in the wrong look entirely—but we’ll keep adjusting together, until the story fits just right.
Thinking about doing things with style takes me back to my late teens, when my friends of that time and I were deep in the season of 18th birthday celebrations. This was long before mobile phones, so party invites were often shared verbally, usually shouted over music on a night out or passed along in clusters.
One particular friend, who to be fair had thrown a themed fancy dress bash for her 16th, casually invited a group of us to her upcoming celebration while we were all at someone else's party. In my mind, she said she was having a magic party. So naturally, I turned up in newly bought fairy wings, a glowing headband, and a light-up wand, all ready to sparkle.
You can imagine my surprise (and momentary horror) when I arrived and everyone else was dressed in the current trendy clothes of that time. No wings. No wands. Just high street classics. It was only then that I realised she’d meant magical as in “a night to remember,” not “enchanting costumes required.”
So what’s a girl to do? I styled it out of course. I held my wand high, smiled like I meant it and you know what? My friend did get her magical night because my accidental fairy entrance became one of the most talked-about moments of the “party circuit" for the rest of the year.
Turns out, a little miscommunication ended up being the best kind of magic.
So are you ready to unleash your little diva?
As always thanks for reading and virtual hugs to you all
