When Motivation Feels Unsettling: The Anxiety of Suddenly Having Energy

Sometimes energy arrives at my house like a surprise visitor on a quiet Sunday afternoon: it lets itself in, makes itself comfortable, and leaves me standing in the hallway wondering what on earth I’m supposed to do with it.

And because I have an anxious mind, well, I usually work out how I feel about it immediately: I panic 😳.

Because truly, nothing feels quite so suspicious as suddenly realising that I actually fancy getting stuff done today—and worse, that I'm actually looking forward to it.

Now, this is not the same as feeling calm. Calm is quiet, gentle, and happy to just sit with a cup of tea. Energy, on the other hand, is loud. It has opinions. It shows up holding an invisible clipboard, looks around the room, and announces, 'Right then. Let’s get moving.'

And if you're wired like me, that sudden spark catches you completely off balance. Not because it’s a bad thing, but because being full of enthusiasm feels so foreign. So instead of just going with it, the brain starts whispering: Wait, why are we suddenly so keen? What is going on? What’s the catch?


Because the spark doesn’t usually arrive for mundane chores; it lands on the things I haven't touched in ages. Pulling down the dusty craft box that’s been sitting on top of the wardrobe for longer than I care to admit, putting on a CD I used to potter around to, or restarting a hobby from a lighter chapter. So the second I reach for it, I freeze. That urge pulls me up short, because dipping a toe back into something I remember with such fondness can feel surprisingly fragile.

I stand there with my hand still hovering mid-air, waiting for the catch. And right on cue, the internal cross-examination begins: “Hang on. Why do we suddenly fancy doing this? What’s going on? Are we leaving ourselves a bit too open?”

Letting myself look forward to things brings a flicker of hope and possibility along with it. And when I’m used to keeping my guard up, letting myself actually look forward to something feels like taking a bit of an emotional gamble.

Suddenly I’m side-eying my own enthusiasm like a questionable document with far too much fine print. My mind starts scrambling to set the terms: “Okay, you can do this. But let's not get carried away. And whatever you do, don’t think we are suddenly going to become the sorceress of glitter.” It leaves me feeling thoroughly on edge, purely because my head is convinced there has to be a catch to feeling this keen.

I mean, heaven forbid I just put a CD on and enjoy myself without anticipating some kind of cosmic payback. It’s like my brain can’t accept a good mood unless it comes with a signed risk assessment.

I know all this, of course. Rationally, I know that dusting off an old project won’t summon disaster. But an anxious brain doesn't really care about logic. It’s entirely possible to know I’m massively overthinking it while still standing there, completely unable to drop my shoulders, waiting for the invisible catch.

I’d love to tell you I’ve got this cracked, but I really haven't. Most of the time, the visitor still turns up, I still panic, and we have the exact same awkward standoff in the hallway.

But every now and then, I manage to take a breath and just let it be. I put the CD on anyway, or take the lid off that craft box, even with my shoulders up around my ears. It’s not about making the worry disappear or forcing myself to be calm—that's not how it works. It’s just deciding that maybe, for today, a nice afternoon is worth feeling a bit twitchy for.

It’s a bit like stepping outside when the sun unexpectedly breaks through in the middle of a gloomy week. I keep my cardie pulled tightly around me, fully expecting the clouds to roll back in at any second—but I still stand on the step for a moment, tilt my head back, and let the warmth hit my face anyway.
Here are a couple of other posts you can explore at your own pace:

The Calm That Feels Suspicious: Why Peace Makes Anxious Minds Uneasy

Too Good to be True? Why Our Brains Treat Relief Like a Trap

Thanks for reading and virtual hugs to you all 

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