The World Premiere of “What If?”: Living in a Constant Rehearsal for Disasters

If you live with any form of anxiety, you’ll know this feeling all too well. It’s the one where life feels like one long dress rehearsal for disasters that never actually make it to opening night.

You’re just trying to decide whether to nip to the shops for a meal deal or whether that soup that’s been in the fridge for a week is still okay, and suddenly your brain is frantically calling for a script rewrite. Before you’ve even found a clean spoon, you’re hovering in the wings like a frantic Stage Manager who refuses to let the crew go home.

"I know we’re just looking at a Tupperware container," they whisper, "but have you considered every possible outcome? No? Don’t worry, I’ve prepped a three-act tragedy called The Ladle of Doom. Let me help."

The fact our brains can mount a high-budget production over a bowl of leftovers is impressive, really. Exhausting, but still impressive.

Scene One: The Simple Choice That Becomes a Saga

It starts with something small. It could be a text you need to reply to, or deciding whether to go to that work do on Thursday. Unfortunately, that’s when the over-eager Director enters stage left.

Before they’ve even reached centre stage, they’re shouting, “Wait! Stop the presses! Let’s explore every single way this could go wrong.” And suddenly, you’ve skipped ten steps ahead, imagining outcomes that require an ensemble of backup dancers and a fog machine. One minute you’re just wondering if "See you there!" is the right tone, and the next, your brain is rehearsing a five-minute monologue about how you’ll accidentally offend your boss, lose your job, and have to start a new life as a hermit.

It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud, but in the moment, that fog machine feels very real and the stakes feel impossibly high.

Scene Two: When One Worry Invites the Entire Cast

You start by worrying about one thing—just one—and somehow every other responsibility from your week hears the music and joins the routine. It’s like a stage invasion you didn't authorise.

You’re trying to figure out the weekly shop, and suddenly, the "Email You Forgot to Send" bursts onto centre stage, followed closely by the "Toppling Ironing Pile." Before you can call for an interval, a ghost from five years ago wanders out for a haunting solo performance of The Conversation That Still Haunts You at 2 a.m. It’s a chaotic variety show you never auditioned for, where every thought is fighting for the spotlight.


An anxious mind is a master set designer. It’s already miles ahead, building elaborate backdrops and planning dramatic plot twists for a second act that hasn’t even been written yet. While you’re just trying to stand in the present, your brain is busy hauling in the scenery for a future that may never even make it to the stage.

You’re mentally preparing for disasters and dramatic reveals that would require a West End production budget, while real life is just… happening quietly in the background, waiting for you to come back from the wings.

The Closing Act

Eventually, even the most dedicated Director has to run out of steam. The costumes go back on the rack, the fog machine gets unplugged, and the "Ladle of Doom" goes back to being just… a bowl of soup.

Some days, the production in our heads is just too loud to ignore, and the rehearsals feel like they’ll never end. But even when the stage lights are blinding, the exit door is still there.

It’s okay if you’re still backstage tonight, tripping over the scenery and trying to find the light switch. Just know that the real world is waiting whenever the show finally winds down. It’s a lot less dramatic out here, and honestly? The tea and biscuits are much better.

It’s a massive amount of work for a show that never actually opens, but there’s comfort in knowing the wings are crowded with all of us, tripping over the same scenery while we wait for the lights to dim.

Here are two more pieces you can dip into whenever it feels right:

Life Is Like a Video Game: Facing Unexpected Levels With Limited Energy

The Thought That Hatched a Fear: How Small Worries Grow Into Big Ones

Thanks for reading and virtual hugs to you all 


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